my birthday party!

katil tak cukup empuk malam ni...............................

Ibu Abah aren't here with me. knowing room next door is empty kinda make it harder to sleep. though i have been sleeping alone all this while. alhamdulillah, Ibu Abah dah berangkat ke Madinah & Mekah hari ni. Abah got conference there and Ibu accompanies to take care of him "kita berdua jelah ye bang 7 hari ni." romantis enough to me T.T

i hope they are doing well right now, right under His love and blessing. and as for me, i have promised myself to write about my birthday that has passed ages ago. yup, i am nineteen now. three years late from this girl.

ini Amal Ahmed Albaz, pelajar IB di Kanada. saya pula Syakirah Azami, pelajar IB di Malaysia hehehe. 

"i make a call to all those who like me. who wanna make a change but can't quite find the key"

and so, it rings to me. a day before i turned 19, i wondered about my life. i know i have been wondering all this while, but that time, it counts the most. banyak benda kan kita boleh buat dalam hidup ni. sekarang boleh stalk kawan kawan kat Twitter/Facebook, esok boleh keluar pegi Wangsawalk, lusa boleh continue neglect homework sebab takde mood and the list goes on. dalam hidup ni, semua benda yang kita buat adalah untuk kegembiraan dan keselesaan kita. bukan kita je, semua pun. kalau intai ke luar rumah, semua pun were made for the sake of our own pleasure and comfort. kereta, longkang, tali ampaian, loceng kucing, peti surat. so, seronok la kan hidup ni. tapi... kenapa masih ada kosong? why is there always a room for more pleasure for ourselves? mungkin esok happy dapat iPhone4s. tapi lusa nampak Samsung Galaxy Note rasa tak cukup luas pulak screeen iPhone4s tu.

so what do we really want, actually? 

i have too many questions in mind to be written here. but too little answer do i have now. i am 19, turning 20 next year. who would i be by then? a simple yet the most vital question in one's life.

i wanna be a doctor, and a lecturer too. but before that, i wanna survive IB without any regrets. also, i want to have the opportunity to study abroad. so, i  do have my ambitions, right? and currently working towards it walaupun tak habis baca novel Isteri (Malay subject). but it still somehow isn't adequate to answer my question. i need to know if i'm worth to this life. worth to my Lord's sight.

"people often ask what the religion can serve me by the do's and don'ts. why must wear hijaab, follow obligations and all. but in Islam. the real question is, what can you serve the religion? serve Allah SWT?" - Nouman Ali Khan.

so what do i do now? besides wasted 19 years of my life not doing anything, simply nothing, like Amal said, what plans do i have for tomorrow? we are the youth, mannn. we hold power to the society. our voices and thoughts and ideas are the loudest among any other ages (reading on Hassan al-Banna's writings on syabaab is highly recommended) banyakkkk sangat benda yang kita boleh serap sekarang. we are all sooo excitedly anxious about what life has to offer us. money, shopping malls, boys, gossips seem soooo addictive and exciting and tempting that we have no idea how to stop them all! but there is still, you know, a few who can see something more behind all those keindahan dunia yang masyuk. only few realises that there are more to decide and think and do than to enjoy. i wanna be among those few chosen people. i know i am no where near to that right now, but i want to get closer towards it. nanti, waktu Hari Kiamat, bila tanya, umur muda saya dihabiskan untuk apa, saya nak bagi jawapan yang baik... tak terbaik atau baik sangat pun takpe, tapi kalau boleh, taknak yang buruk, na'uzubillah.

so, i decided. i have a year left before i lose 'teen' in the end of my age spelling, number 1 in the beginning of my age number. so, i wanna make it worthwhile this time. in fact, i have listed so many things. tapi mestilah tak boleh bagitau daaa~ but i do want to this, you know. so badly at the moment.

 as bad as Bam Bam wants the headphone to fit his head, so he can listen by using ears, not cheeks.

may He hold this heart firm to this. amin.

we miss our angel

"Along ingat lagi, tak berapa lama sebelum Aufa meninggal, ada sekali tu Ya call Ibu, Ibu pun buat loudspeaker. Aufa dari jauhhh tu haa berlari lari pegi dekat handphone Ibu. dia dah kenal kot suara Ya. lepastu tau tak dia amek handphone Ibu daripada Ibu, bawak lari jauh jauhhh habis Ibu dengan Along kena kejar sana sini. pastu dia cakap apa apa ntah dengan Ya semua tak paham" - Along, Umi Allahyarham Aufa Hani binti Iswandi Harahap.

and I only knew this story about a month ago, when we were playing with her brother, Ahmad Aslim bt Iswandi Harahap. and i guess that is the last story i have about her. erm, i bet my friends all know how i reacted every time me and her were on the phone hehe. we had a secret language, that only we both pretended to understand. err..

ehem. so, on this date, a year ago, about 3 hours ago, she left us. but the story doesn't end there, only get better. she left us and started to wait for her parents up there somewhere in the best place anyone can possibly be. good news for the rest of us, also her parents, we are all gracefully blessed with two superheroes in the house. i need not put their pictures here for it will only make them bangga dan bajet comel lepas tu excited nampak gambar sendiri kat screen computer. 

ehem. so, i hereby stand, i mean, write, with hearts of every member of my family, would like to convey our  thoughts and prayers to the one we will always love, 

bidadari kecik kami. Al Fatihah.

this is bad, real bad (not Keri Hilson)

my Pappu (name of my laptop, just created last night) broken down last night. i have EE to be submitted in two days. it's late already because someone didn't tell me Ms Saidah wanted it early holiday and he already submitted it without me *bengang* i have backups in my pendrive, but its the old what, not the updated ones that is 51.5% done. now...

how do i cry in the most elegant way... :'((((((((((( i mean, faithful way, you know, like a true believer :')

definitely not like this. this is Sem Sem. 

i think i have done something not right. maybe this is the payback, perhaps this is the wake up call, possibly this is what it takes for me, to down on my knee, asking for forgiveness from you. i'm sorry, love. i didn't mean to hurt you.

Angah la ni, menakutkan Ya cakap Ibu Abah terasa Ya keluar tak bagitau T.T

cooler than Teletubbies.

i really can't hold myself from writing. tambah lagi dengan hujan hujan ni, a warm feeling i have here in heart.

as referred to my previous post, it really nailed to my head that a school junior of mine still remembers the story i told her during usrah. i mean, its like two years ago, or maybe three! even i cant remember how many times did i go to toilet yesterday.

see the correlation? hehe.

i mean like, it must be something really intensely meaningful and heart-warming that makes us hard to forget it. right? how significant toilet is as compared to Usrah? or even Chemistry class?! walaupun Chemistry concepts tak berapa nak ingat sangat. but still?! bila fikir balik. it's true you know. all these years, i have been obsessing about quotes, song lyrics and stuff. but how long will those line stuck in your head? not gonna be longer than sinetron drama, i assume. the greatest quotes and lines after all are those related to our very own religion. thanks to Twitter, now i am addicted to those.

one of the best Islamic tweets by @IslamicThinking. if you don't have Twitter acc, you should have one just to follow this. its gonna worth it, trust me.

nevertheless, its not only about Islamic quotes or Tweets, story or lectures. it's about our religion. i don't know about you guys, but anyone surely experiences that one different feeling when it comes to Islam. be it positive or negative, that different aura is not as usual as any auras in the world. not even aura Ombak Rindu. berombak je lebih... okay peminat Aaron Aziz, jangan marah..

for we all teens, we wanna be cool, look cool, sound cool. mann who doesnt want that?! i want that too. i hope this blog is cool enough. macam Cool Blog. hehehehe. but where do we find that coolness?! in the righteous way?!

Ust Azhar Idrus, i didnt know you're a cool photographer! 0__O

i really wanna be a cool speaker like Nouman Ali Khan. you should watch his videos here.

eh ehhh. hihihi. *tersipu sampai tak sanggup nak tulis nama*

therefore, i beg to differ, sir, 9gag is definitely not cool enough.

i don't know if i have wrote enough. but i have to say this, kita pun dah umat akhir zaman, tambah lagi tanda tanda akhir kiamat macam Tengku Sofea, and our distance to Qiamat is like between two fingers (according to Hadith), but the good news is that Islam akan bangkit semula before it happens, Islam gonna be the World Order(Ustaziyatul 'Alam) once again, and if its gonna happen during our lifetime, we would wanna be a part of it, don't we?

"... bersabarlah, sesungguhnya janji Allah itu benar." 30:60

ps/ it is also my deepest grief that i have been delaying to post something about my birthday. no, its not about birthday party. but if i delay it longer this time, i hope i be reminded when read this T.T

a date! with a call.

yesterday was a fairy tale.

nahh. it was more like a movie, macam Mean Girls ka, Bride War ka, or more correctly, Sex and The City :D :D :D

a picture with all of us in it wasn't good and i bet Hanis Jey would NEVER want me to upload it, so here the cropped pic of everyone! i did my best T.T

i cant think of anything else to write except for food! in total we had 6 meals altogether, added up with maracon (nice colour, nice taste), SCRUMPTIOUSLY MOUTH WATERING PICNIC CHOC BAR , yummy (tu eh nama dia?) candy, choc cake+brownies+cheese cake samples and all, we spent most of money to buy food! semua ni sebab Dian suka makan. dia yang buat orang lain tempting nak makan sekali. T______________T

Hana Chipa : "cane nak kira berapa banyak kita makan hari ni?"

Hanis Jey : "kira berapa pinggan kita makan, pastu bahagi empat."

Sya : "eh taklah, kira total calories we took in, pastu bahagi empat. baru accurate."

perhaps the best part is that it was an iftar every time we eat. its a good thing you know. first is because, it wont make you feel so bad if you eat a a lot (because you dont know how much you actually eat) second, it kinda lifts up more of your appetite, but its okay though, if you read the first reason xD

so, we had awesome food, gossips, embarrassingly crazy time and

foot pain T_________________T

tapi apepunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. we had a great day that contributed to a great sleep last night, so yeah, i miss my girls :)

something also happened it the surau by the way. i bumped into Integomb junior and she remembers me! it was quite a normal conversation until..

Junior : "Kak, saya ingat lagi yang cerita akak pasal haji time usrah kat sekolah dulu. (excitedly smiling face)"

enough said, isn't it? :) really got to write more about this soon.

same story line, different version

on this date in 2010, i was in Pulau Indah, Klang, doing a humanitarian project with much beloved Smiling Soul club. there, i was informed that my niece, Allahyarham Aufa Hani been admitted into Hospital Serdang because of lung infection. i wasn't there for her and was only able to take care of her a week later. i was given chance to do so for only two weeks before she returned to Him we love most.

that is the only difference that it makes.

i am currently with Atok Zaharim in HUKM. Atok was admitted in the middle of Sem 3 exam week, i think i was doing English paper kot when Angah miscalled me. Atok experienced a mild stroke, along with his unbalanced glucose proportion, blood pressure and heartbeat. doc said his prostate cancer might also contribute to this condition, so a complete medical care should be taken in the hospital. so here i am :D

there is nothing serious, really. in fact Atok is watching Indon drama on TV3. ohh rindunya kat Indonesia ;'D

well, perhaps it is only about me.

".. Katakanlah 'Apakah sama orang-orang yang mengetahui dan orang-orang yang tidak mengetahui?' Sebenarnya hanya orang yang berakal sehat yang dapat menerima pelajaran." 9:39

days here, the memories flashing back like CSI episodes. continuous and never boring. the same hospital smell, serious faces (housemans), slow and also fast walks (patients vs docs), klikings of medical apparatus and colors (white, blue, and any soft colors) everything is perfectly put in place, just like a year ago. the feelings also remain you know.

and... it also haunts me that i once thought of this

'sedihnya terpaksa duduk hospital sehari suntuk.. kawan kawan lain semua jenjalan, holiday. sedihnya..'

this line crossed my mind 3/4 days before Allahyarham Aufa passed. teruk kan? and i regretfully hate myself for it. that is basically why i am trying to redeem myself now, trying to become a better person for my family. though i said before that i direly need this holiday to get back to myself, i should instead always be alarmed that some things in life is more worth fighting for, than yourself. sometime, somewhere, someone who is as important as ourselves to us might need our concern and attention, more than ourselves.

fuuh~ cukup jiwang.

no no, this blog bukan asyik dok cite pasal orang sakit, baby, orang sakit, baby lagi. i write other things too you know! macam ni. that is exactly what im doing right now haha ;)

an evil yet irresistible distraction T.T "hehehehehehe" - Bam Sem (not Sem Bam okay)

ps/ Atok is scheduled to return home this Friday. am praying this to be a remarkably awesome present for my birthday this year :) amin ya Rabbal alamin.

an invitation from Him we love

hello there. today, i went through my previous posts and realised that i post too much about babies. which is weird. because i am not yet a mom T.T apart from that, i also just finished filling in Umrah forms for Ibu and Abah, that gives me a very good feeling all night! :D

for those who know, i know, its strange kan people asking me to write for them. i also come to know that my hand writings are too unique and creative to be understood. but oh well. so Ibu and Abah are going this month but why am i writing this?

because Ibu, Abah, i want you to know that life has taken its toll on me. i must say this holiday kinda erm well, really actually, means something to me. even more than before. my family has always been my strength and a Smurf (its a movie btw, Ibu) said 'Smurfs are family and i don't give up on my family' :) but knowing you two are going to to the most makramah place on earth is a nikmah indeed. though it's too early, Ya nak jugak post pasal ni. (also because i promised Ibu to post something tonight :/)

other than that, this holiday really is something more to me. i have somehow lost myself in the middle of last semester and i gotta get back to myself asap. as few have said to me;

"you have been different. where's Sya i used to know?"

good question, guys!

"Do (good) deeds which is within your capacity (without being overtaxed) as Allah does not get tired (of giving rewards) but (surely) you will get tired and the best deed (act of Worship) in the sight of Allah is that which is done regularly." - Bukhari.

menahan rindu :3

sejak setahun yang lepas memang berazam taknak balik minggu ni, sebab next week dah final exam. memang semangat lah ni taknak balik, duduk KMB study sebab result teruk sangat. ehem. tapi tapi tapi. takleh lahh susah lahhh caniii eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

stressnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

ini semua salah soalan Probability sering buat diriku keliru

bila tak dapat jawab mula lah bosan dan mengantok. oh.. sungguh indah cuaca hari ini.

dengan tenang diriku tertutup mata...................

biasalah tu kan students tertido waktu study. kadang kadang kalo bosan, stop jap, tengok Despicable Me. tapi tu pun boleh tertido, kan Yusra Syazana? :P tapi best apa kan jadi student. lagi lagi student IB. banyak pengalaman baru dan lama dalam menempuh hidup yang meningkat dewasa. wah. gaya IOC Malay! erm, after all kan, medicine is a life-long learning process :) dan dan dan..

"Dan bahawa manusia hanya memperoleh apa yang diusahakannya."53:39

Aslim a.k.a. Sem Sem "apa ni Cik Ya letak gambar Naufal je ."

"merajuk ah."

"hehehe.... dah aku comel. hehehe... " Naufal a.k.a. Bam Bam (Tembam) "sebab tu aku masuk contest."

ps/ susahnya nak menahan rindu ;)

the old and the new hehehehehehehe

"hai Abahhhhhhhhh. sayang Ya takkkkkk"

*berlari ke arah Abah sambil angkat tangan tinggi tinggi nak peluk*

tanpa disangka sangka....

*Abah elak*

sedih...................................................... :'(

takpelah Bah. Ya sedar Ya sape. Ya tak pandai macam Abah. kena buang universiti pun belum pernah lagi (muahahahahahah!) but anywaysssssss

HAPPY BELATED BURPDAY AYAHANDA! I'M NOT ONLY PROUD BECAUSE YOU ARE MY SUPER DAD, BUT ALSO BECAUSE YOU'RE HOT AND STILL HENSEM! <3

monolog dalaman : bukan main lambat lagi wish Sya. birthday Abah 20/6.

next hottest news is thatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

one, two, seven eight, who do we appreciate?!

ASLIM! ASLIM! AAAAAAAASLIMMMM :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

introducing, Ahmad Aslim bin Iswandi Harahap, new lap of ma lyfe. lahir lahir dah hot tak terkata. tengok tuh sampai merah merah. uhm resembles his late sister much, don't you think? :)

"Dan Dia telah memberikan kepadamu segala yang kamu mohonkan kepadanya-Nya. Dan jika kamu menghitung nikmat Allah, nescaya kamu tidak akan mampu menghitungnya."

14:34

you know who you are

result dah dapat.

dah takde idea nak tulis. hehe.

(after an hour of thinking)

i never failed before. i mean, i did, but there was no large decrease that could have these following effects; i lost 2 kg in a week, had an average 2 hours of sleep daily, had myself keep silent for more than an hour in the middle of the crowd (never happened before), had myself wandered around school compound aimlessly everyday. to make it short, i never had lost my own self before due to any academic result.

but i come to realize, or to read from Twitter

The Prophet (PBUH) said: "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships."

[Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

so you see, what happened last week doesn't come with anything but hikmah. there is simply no doubt that any event takes place in life is another lesson to be learnt.

one of the greatest, greatest lesson i gained last week would be from my own very own classmate. i don't care if you are going or will never read this, but do know that i completely admire the whole new side of you uncovered when you are tested by Him with the result. macamana ha nak cakap. the words you spoken, the look in the face u've shown to the others and the smile you given, all those things macam gempakkk sangat tau tak. you are in the middle of His test, a very difficult one but the person i see macam superhuman pulak. u never shown a shed of tears to anyone. you look very, very strong. my friend, ni nak cakap ni, you are superb tau tak. you were good in Sem 1 for your result but in Sem 2 you are way better for your personality. i don't sympathise you, instead i am jealous that Allah had tested you this way, indicating that there will a veryyy veryyy veryyy only-He-knows good payback in the future. your patience, positive thoughts, self-control, strength and other amazing values macam bagus ahhhhhh. with that kind of personality and value my friend, i am inspired by you. we are actually in the same boat, but i am no way near as strong as you are. nak cakap lagi, jangan risau ahhh pape pasal university placement la ranking la mende la, because to me, and i believe to anyone else, university mana taknak orang hebak macam ni?! insyaAllah Allah akan permudahkan jalan untuk kau/awak/kamu lepas ni. wallahu'alam macamana cara Dia nak buat, but huallahuakbar kan. so, hang in there my friend, good things await for you :)

ps/ kitorang semua kagum dengan kau/awak/kamu. proud to be your classmate :D

a psycho's thoughts

the holiday has not been great or even good to me. its not about the homework sebab memang pemalas pun sebelum ni so kisah ape kan -since dah nak balik kolej, okay kisah- but few things have been wandered around my mind non-stop. oh yes, i am a type of person who over thinks everything, everything in life. -except Chemistry, of course- one of the main contributor is semester exam result. this result is undeniably important.

okay enough said before the stress builds up again. but the thing is, i am very much frustrated and upset with myself that i don't put up the term tawakal. it is very wrong you see. i had gone through sooo many sleepless nights, cryings, hentak hentak kepala (over sikit takpe kan) because i put sooooooooooooooooooooooo many negative thoughts in mind. fitrah Sya memang macamtu okay. sejak baby dah nangis nangis cuak kena potong tali pusat. apart from that, i cannot deny there were few things i regret doing it throughout my Sem 2. so what you give, you get back right? but i also come to realise that there is basically nothing we can do now. but as a Muslim, there is one thing we should, no, we HAVE to do at time like this

"Dan jika kamu berazam, bertawakallah kepada Allah."

Al Imran:159

but i didn't have that in me. i was wrong. i was terrribly wrong that i thought nangis sampai keluar hingus dapat menenangkan diri. superstition semata mata because

"Ketahuilah hanya dengan mengingati Allah, hati akan menjadi tenang."

Ar Ra'du:28

so this is why this is happening to me. i am an emo person, i know. but to let my emoness cloud my faith until it dissolves in? and me to have keraguan dalam hati? what is faith then? there is never gonna be a price to that. never.

ehem. agak emo di situ ye.

well the thing is that. i am not happy with myself. i know what Allah will give is what the best for me. everyone knows that. but no many understand. i have issues with my placement but any result i'll get will be a sign to me. a big one that relates to many things in my life. and He is the al-Alim. He knows everything when i don't have the slightest clue. i may cry and scream and hentak kepala dengan lebih kuat lagi when i get my results, but i hope at that time, i still have my faith. or i can re read this entry -macam bagus- the best result does not necessarily have to be the highest, right? so.. okay dah takde idea nak cakap. that's all for now. thank you for your concern towards a psycho. such a noble heart u have :')

oh by the way, during this holiday, i also learn that the only way to not get hurt or have your heart be broken anymore is by not letting yourself be. by meaning, keep your heart to yourself, don't give it to others. don't put hope to someone who doesn't want you to. my goodness am i jiwang or whatttttt. k bubai. wassalam.

why do we procrastinate

procrastination is not really a bad thing. oh come on, admit it, no matter how many people say Procrastination is the Thief of Time, we will be like, haah en. betul tu. okay. azam aku hari ni/minggu ni/Sem ni/tahun ni/dalam kehidupan ini ialah procrastinate no moreeee. but what we do now?

oh yes. you are procrastinating by reading this entry.

okay fine. except budak KMS yang baru habis exam. and budak UNITEN. and budak UiTM. and budak Matriks. and argghhhhhhhh like i careeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

now go on with the topic. what are the good things about procrastination? its not just making us feel good dapat melepak layan Twitter or cool dapat habiskan kerja last minute okay, it means so much more than that. if not, why everyone is doing it kan. okay lets say we have 2 or 3 weeks holiday for sem break.

1. super effective stress-release

kita kan baru habis final exam, baru start cuti kan. ingat senang ke nak jawab paper Math HL sume? you know our brain worked really hard. perasaan nak mengejar masa jawab paper 2 Econs ya Allahhhhh. lenguh tangan nak angkat tangan mintak kertas bukan main lagiiii. tu belum lagi jari jemari yang menahan pressure kertas dan pen dakwat tak cukup legap. so by procrastinating, we actually giving every part of our body a chance to rejuvenate themselves for a long-torturing workloads. it's like rewarding ourselves which is good. sebab tu tandanya kita menghargai diri sendiri.

2. sake of the family

KMB tu kan jauh. bukan boleh balik tiap tiap minggu. walaupun balik jugak, alah, dua hari je kat rumah. mana sempat Ibu Abah Nenek Along Angah Abanteh Abalang Anep Bibik Nenekma semua nak melepaskan rindu. jadi untuk kemaslahatan kehidupan berkeluarga, kita perlu mengorbankan masa untuk membuat assignment untuk meluangkan masa berkualiti di sisi keluarga tercinta agar perhubungan kekeluargaan itu terjalin utuh bagi mencapai misi Family First, Homework Last. mulia sangat hati orang yang sanggup membuat pengorbanan sebegitu rupa :')

sorry, tadi buat World Literature Malay Essay.

3. sake of the public: classmates, schoolmates, besties.

kalau buat kerja awal-awal, nanti cepat siapkan. no, its not a good thing. sebab nanti we tend to update our status in FB or tweet something like this

"ALHAMDULILLAH DAH SIAP EE. DAH BOLEH HANTAR FIRST DRAFT BUKAK SEM NANTI."

"YEAYYYY SELESAI PUN MATH PORTFOLIO. TERLEPAS PUN BEBANAN BESAR DI TENGKORAK KEPALA."

"DONE WITH WORLD LIT. OFF TO LONDON FOR A LIFETIME."

sekarang sila letakkan tempat anda di tempat orang yang sedang melakukan no 1 dan no 2 dengan kemuliaan hati yang tiada taranya. pastu bukak FB and Twitter baca statuses dan tweets tersebut. what do you feeeellllllllllll mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

you get what im saying? we're trying to jaga hati semua orang here. we don't want our friends to cry and worry and crack up and mental breakdown when they know we finish our works way faster than normal human does. that is so.. cruel. or in stronger word, sadis. again, this is a very selfless reason. we're trying to put ourselves in everyone's shoes to make this world a better place.

4. self-training

now lets move on to the last 3 or 2 days of holidays. a normal human being will probably jadi lipas kudung untuk menyiapkan apa yang mampu. okay now see it this way, kalau kita buat awal-awal, mesti kita buat slow and steady kan, but kalau buat akhir-akhir, we are actually pushing ourselves beyond boundaries.

wah. PiBi di situ.

i mean like, its good that we train ourselves to be effecient, multi-tasking, focus, determined, hard-working, tabah, yakin dengan diri sendiri and.. man, there is so much more to be written! you know what im saying? we can also make a good use of the pressure that school gonna start soon and all. nampak tak berapa banyak nilai murni kita dapat terapkan?

5. preparation for the next sem

bila kita start last minute, kan waktu dia dah dekat dekat dengan new semester kan. we are actually doing good to our brain because we give early preparation for it to start working again. its good you know. so bila new semester starts, kita takan ada culture shock gitu. you get me? you get me?

untuk menyimpulkan kesemua di atas, i hereby say, do not look at procrastination merely a negative thing. don't be bias. there's always something good in every bad one kan? (menunjukkan muka baik)

last but not least, here is a great quote,

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~Don Marquis

and this one, takkanlah dah bagitau benefit taknak bagitau cara pulak kan.

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. ~Author Unknown

okay babai. nak sambung revise Maths sebab semua assignments dah siap.

sakit hati tak sakit hati tak sakit hati takkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

saya telah curang

masa kecik kecik dulu saya sepanjang masa melekat dengan Ibu macam koala bear. kalau waktu sejuk, saya cepat cepat pegi nyorok bawah tudung Ibu. kalau sejuk sangat nyorok dalam baju terus pastu kuar kan kepala macam anak kangaroo. tapi Ibu bukan ibu mana mana haiwan ye..

kalau dengan Abah, tak rapat sangat.

hehe. tipu saje. Abah dulu masa saya kecik, Abah study. so Abah macam nerd (so not) so sebagai anak yang bertoleransi, saya pun tak kacau Abah sangat. okay fine, maybe kacau sikit. tapi Angah, Abanteh, Abalang lagi nakal okay. but i always fall in love everytime Abah says this

"anak perempuan Abah ada duweeeee jeee."

but since Along dah kawen, Abah dah tukar

"anak pompuan Abah ada satuuuuuu je. dah lah comel, cute, adorebel, baby-face."

ayat belakang paling real kan :D

well those are childhood memories. banyak bende dah berubah sekarang kan and some are unavoidable. ni bukan pasal masalah kulit je eh. its like as a child or teenager, we tend to become curious about simply everything. dengan kawan kawan kita rasa cool lepak sama sama. dengan handphone rasa cool main Twitter. dengan buku.. er.. rasa tension?

but anyways, those are things in life we tend to focus more on. that we again tend to neglect simple things that matter more. i have so many examples but these are my stories

kalau call Abah cakap nak balik, beberapa kelip mata je Abah dah sampai KMB. Banting dengan Gombak bukan dekat okay. tapi kalau Abah yang call, hamboii, time tu la sibuk meeting, kelas Chemy, tazkirah khamis dan sebagainya. "Abah, call balik boleh?"

Abah kadang kadang datang dekat kat sofa "Abah nak duduk sebelah Ya boleh?" "oh, duduklah Bah.", sambil memegang handphone di tangan cek kalo ada TT baru pasal Adinda Evans. pastu tanpa rasa malu bertanya "Abah, Ya nak Samsung Galaxy Tab boleh?"

Abah suka tanya "Ya duit cukup tak? balik nanti macamana? hari apa? barang semua dah ada ke?" saya suka tanya "Abah amek bila? dah masuk duit belum? ada beli Subway tak?" nampak tak sape yang selfish dan selfless?

rasa nak cerita lagi tapi macam membuka bekung di perut nanti..

but you get my point kan. ignorance is never a bliss when it comes to family. have ever felt that you only become yourself when you're with your family? when everyone in college or school turns you down, your family got your back? well, i experienced that first hand. but one thing for sure, we never know what they really feel about us. saya selalu nak sangat tau doa Ibu tiap tiap malam, perasaan Ibu bila tengok anak anak dia sume ada kat rumah, ape Ibu fikir bila tengok anak anak dia makan. we never know, don't we? this is when i come to reminisce what Ibu said

"kat fikiran anak anak dah takde Ibu Abah dah. kat fikiran Ibu Abah, anak anak jelah yang tinggal."

sorry Ibu, Abah. Ya dah banyak kali curang sebab tak pikir pasal Ibu Abah. maafkan Ya ye. lepas ni Ya pikir banyak lagi insyaAllah. nanti Ya dah besar tinggal dengan Ya nak? :)

good mates :D

its 3 am in the morning its Sunday evening and i'm pretty enthusiastic i am very bored, if i can say, to write about my Sem 2.

SEM 2 HAS BEEN AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

or not.

there's nothing awesome, really, happened in Sem 2. i have to admit, i started off quite bad in the early Sem 2 bcos. er. takde mood? hehe. i know. that's bad. i remember those times i weren't giving any attention to Biology class sampai nak test Respiration and Photosynthesis tu en, i didn't know there are cycles named Kreb and Calvin! :D

but basically, usual events took place. new topics learnt, more quizzes and test held, more gossips and scandals revealed, more pro in procrastination, and oh yes, a better WiFi coverage in class. that one is awesome.

okay. sorry teacher.

well. uhm. yeah, it passed by quicker than Sem 1. sedar sedar dah exam for university placement ya Allah. pastu kena pikir pasal Sabah pulak arghhh. pastu pasal EE lambat progress warghhh. pastu Math Paper macam Olympiad aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

but apart from that all, this one i think i treasure. no, i know i treasure.

throughout this Sem 2, i had done few things that i think is still legal..

danced in class, okay fine, xishuashua-ed in class,

created an art that creates another world historical art,

studied under the tree (done it before in Sem 1)

well you know, that time when everything goes wrong, so many things in mind and on table, what else can make you feel awesome about IB life? besides your roommates, bestfriends and all, its your classmates :DDD to me it's a good feeling when you enter the class every morning, seeing your friends and not feeling stress (except when they are studying before the class starts *nangis*) but still, to me, by not feeling stress is good enough. because at least, they don't add up stress in your life kan kan kan. to bonus it up, they make you smile and laugh like crazy all day long :D

ehem ehem. guys, i'm not being jiwang anywhere around here okay.

"oh you already are." Luqman Safwan would say this, i know.

sorry that i don't have many photos, but here's more that i think quite laughable..

my family; (from left) Baby, Along, Mommy, Angah and Achik,

MOMMY??!! haha. tade tade. ni imaginary family je. Fatimah Zahrah sila jeles sila jeles.

this was during Kem Islami. where you can see the most left girl was being very selfish, tak berhati perutand loveless towards her classmates. kesian Nabila Rosaidi dahaga sangat tu.

i so love this pic!

IS THIS PICTURE OF THE YEAR OR WHATTTT?!

okay fine. its just a toilet and we were bored during recess time and i just had my phone and being batak about it and so we decided to take picture.

happy now?

to make it fair, here's the pic of everyone, i present youuu the one and only M10E.

my classmates have been such dearies throughout this Sem 2, and i couldnt thank enough for the memories for a year now. well, what else i can say? i hope we can made more for the another year insyaAllah. i'm very much grateful to have classmates like you guys. and before i'm becoming more jiwang, and before Mukhzani Muhammad start buat muka, erm what else i can say,

Teman-teman karib pada hari itu saling bermusuhan, kecuali mereka yang bertaqwa.

43:67

sila mintak 'Afif Amran tadabbur ayat ni :D kbai.

ps/ if anyone comes to read this before Sem 3 start, would you mind not to mention about it to me in class later? malu hokeh.

another words of emotion

IB is not easy, never is.

Sya : eh, apa homework esok?

klasmet : ala, tak banyak, 3 je.

Sya : apa apa?

klasmet : CHEMY LAB REPORT, REVISION MATHS TEST, PAI BLOG.

homeworks are never ending. tests are too. but any worse than that, the worst, would be final Sem 2 exam. Sem 2 exam is simply an exam that will determine your university placement. to be here or there, right or wrong, happy or sad, all depend on Sem 2 exam. okay okay, before that, do know that i am a person to exaggerate and be over anxious over something that this post might sound.. er well, a little bit toooo 'ove-errrrr la wehhh'

its kinda ironic here somewhere. though homeworks, assignments, tests, quizzes, pop quizzes (walaupun sama je) are endless, we still have time to enjoy tweeting, facebooking, myspace-ing (okay lame) and so on and so forth. sure la we enjoy mingling with friends (walaupun bukan kat dunia nyata), tweeting in class (walaupun sama kelas) and etc. rasa macam dapat lupa jap handbook TOK depan mata sekali dengan teacher-teacher sekali. SORRY TOK. WIFI LRC BEST SANGAT NAK WAT CANEEE.

but oh well, IB would say then

"i'm haunting you down girl............even via facebook."

its a good thing that we have young and energetic and cun teachers for most of our subjects. they are all very berjiwa muda, lawak, cool dan sebagainya (dengan harapan teacher baca so dapat tambah markah test) but but but. isnt it just frustrating that you have to log out right after getting these conversations and the next thing you know you are all over your thousands paged Chemisty and Biology books trying to study when everyone else is still enjoying facebook that you have to ignore for at least a week bcos of that wake up calls from your very own teachers?!!

fuh. emo sangat ni.

but oh, very well then, it is a good thing, actually. to be always remembered that..

Sem 2 exam is coming approach. very fast. and very inhumanly.

but we have dreams to run for, don't we?

20:114

(and to those who don't get what this number is, it is a sepotong ayat Quran. 20 is the no of surah, and 114 is the number of line or ayat. you can check the translation very easily from quranexplorer.com)

this tired heart and body and soul and ergh.

"Ya, Ya tak rasa malu dan kurang pandai ke?"

"nape nak rasa camtu?"

"tengok adik-beradik Ya semua buat degree, Ya buat diploma je."

DIPLOMA JE-ER?!!!!

the dedicated IB diploma students... :]

i'm writing this with tears and sweats to the that my life has been. not look like one for the past a year i'm taking IB. bukan tak cukup tidur, tapi tidur tak menentu. sekejap sekejap sangat sekejap lama sangat. mana nak betul otak ni. mimpi pun mimpi eHow- Kimono untuk model Malay esok. lame kan?

i wasn't intended to write bad things about IB (though i really wanted to so badly) tapi tu lah, nak meluahkan perasaan yang terpendam di dada. the thing is that; there are more than loads of assignments and projects we gotta do yet so little time and little less energy we students have. we are no robots and heart machine, we need sleep and love. love?! haha.

you get my point kan? i don't know where this topic going, but oh well. sukati la nak tulis apeee. arghhhhhhhhhhhh. tekanannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

....or not. the budget-adorable students. yang kanan tu........

okay bai. nak pegi sambung belajar eHow part 2.

"awak ni Sya. tiap tiap minggu cakap dasyatnya minggu awak. bila minggu tak dasyat?"

minggu lepas SPM dulu *kesat air mata*

9:41

ps/ planning to write about IB in KMB for dummies later for future juniors. tapi takut memusnahkan harapan dan angan angan pulak. muahahaha.

tersebutlah kisah yang disebut secara tak sengaja..

diriwayatkan kisah seorang puteri yang tidak tenang hatinya. rasa kesedihan gitu tidak pernah meninggalkan lubuk hatinya gitu. rasa macam nak jerit je kadang kadang. tapi tetap ditahannya. sob sob.

Tuan Puteri tak sedih sebab air dia habis. tapi sedih sebab. sebab. puasa sunat terbatal.. *tak lawak Sya. tak lawak*

meanwhile, Abahandanya berasa pelik dan aneh melihatkan perubahan anakanda kesayangan tersebut. anakandanya tidak lagi mahu mengikutinya menonton siri rancangan kegemaran terhebat di istana iaitu Ultraman Gaia dan (er. apa eh Abah? oh,) dan rakan-rakannya!

pada mulanya, baginda tidak memandang serius hal ini.

lama lama baru baginda terkejut.

"hm. beta akan berbuat sesuatu. yes." maka bersenang hatilah para gundik di belakangnya. *hehe.

lalu baginda pun memanggil sekalian ahli-ahli istana yang kehormat datang mengadap baginda. ya. gundik pun salah seorang ahli istana ye.

ketua penjaga kanak-kanak dan cucu-cicit diraja

penglipur lara or sarkis diraja

ni. huh. tak sanggup nak tulis.

tukang tilik diraja

pengawal kehormat diraja merangkap drebar bersama isterinya merangkap.. gundik?!! how come?!

maka, berlangsunglah sesi dialog baginda Abahnda dan Ibunda mengenai situasi anakanda kesayangan mereka yang hanyut dilanda keresahan dan kegelapan. euw.

Ibunda cuba memahami. dan masih mencuba, masih lagi,

akhirnya Ibunda tersedak tergelak apabila dah paham. bersandarkan kepantasan akal dan kewarakan ilmu di dada, lalu terfikirlah baginda Ibunda akan satu idea yang pasti berjaya menggembirakan semula hati Tuan Puteri.

"ei apalah Kanda ni. takkan tu pun tak terpiki."

"OHOHOHO. yelah. Kanda lupalah. NYOHOHO"

"ya Allah muka apa itu Abahanda??!" teriak Tuan Puteri dalam hati. dari jauh.

maka bermulalah satu projek baru istana dalam memenangi semula hati Tuan Puteri yang remuk dan berkecai itu. semua ahli-ahli istana dalam keadaan sedia dan bertenaga untuk melaksanakan perintah baginda untuk mendaulatkan keluarga baginda bagi mempertahankan kebagindaan baginda dalam kecemaran duli baginda di mana ianya..

apabenda ni Sya..

tukang tilik mula menyeru segala jin peliharaannya,

sarkis dan penilik, again, mengambil semangat sungai dan ikan sungai

eh ni tak keluar watak lagi kan. ehem. imam diraja *hehe* mula melaungkan. er. laungan. yeah.

dan dugong melabuhkan dirinya di tepian sungai! *muahahaha*

dan akhirnya tibalah detik penentuuuuuuuu

eh tak tak. ni saje nak bagitau Sya yang buat. hehe.

dan laluuuuuuuuuuuuu...

PERANG AIR PUN BERMULA!!

keganasan semakin terlihat. fokus penilik diraja fokus penilik diraja. dia takut air. *hehe*

Tuan Puteri masih steady.

amende pengawal diraja pun takut air ni bang?!!

maka tau lah bahawasanya Tuan Puteri sebenarnya merindukan air. air tu simbolik kepada kasih sayang daripada keluarganya yakni kasih yang termengalir tak putus putus sejak lahir lagi. jadi apabila adanya Perang Air, kasih yang terkering sekejap, menjadi berair semula, dan hati Tuan Puteri kini kembali berseri dan baginda berasa bla bla bla.

post-party kejayaan projek

Tuan Puteri dan makanan yang sedap dan enak dan berkhasiat.

yeahh. jelitawan sedunia.

dan begitulah riwayat ini berakhir. akhirnya Tuan Puteri kembali tersenyum dan hatinya berlonjak riang bla bla bla bla

sekian saja. terima kasih.

TEPOK LAH. PENAT NIH UPLOAD GAMBARRRRR.

rasa tak layak sebab dapat kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan cani sekali.
could only say, thank you Allah :) oh ye, Kejujuran boleh tidur sekarang ye.