on this date in 2010, i was in Pulau Indah, Klang, doing a humanitarian project with much beloved Smiling Soul club. there, i was informed that my niece, Allahyarham Aufa Hani been admitted into Hospital Serdang because of lung infection. i wasn't there for her and was only able to take care of her a week later. i was given chance to do so for only two weeks before she returned to Him we love most.
that is the only difference that it makes.
i am currently with Atok Zaharim in HUKM. Atok was admitted in the middle of Sem 3 exam week, i think i was doing English paper kot when Angah miscalled me. Atok experienced a mild stroke, along with his unbalanced glucose proportion, blood pressure and heartbeat. doc said his prostate cancer might also contribute to this condition, so a complete medical care should be taken in the hospital. so here i am :D
there is nothing serious, really. in fact Atok is watching Indon drama on TV3. ohh rindunya kat Indonesia ;'D
well, perhaps it is only about me.
".. Katakanlah 'Apakah sama orang-orang yang mengetahui dan orang-orang yang tidak mengetahui?' Sebenarnya hanya orang yang berakal sehat yang dapat menerima pelajaran." 9:39
days here, the memories flashing back like CSI episodes. continuous and never boring. the same hospital smell, serious faces (housemans), slow and also fast walks (patients vs docs), klikings of medical apparatus and colors (white, blue, and any soft colors) everything is perfectly put in place, just like a year ago. the feelings also remain you know.
and... it also haunts me that i once thought of this
'sedihnya terpaksa duduk hospital sehari suntuk.. kawan kawan lain semua jenjalan, holiday. sedihnya..'
this line crossed my mind 3/4 days before Allahyarham Aufa passed. teruk kan? and i regretfully hate myself for it. that is basically why i am trying to redeem myself now, trying to become a better person for my family. though i said before that i direly need this holiday to get back to myself, i should instead always be alarmed that some things in life is more worth fighting for, than yourself. sometime, somewhere, someone who is as important as ourselves to us might need our concern and attention, more than ourselves.
fuuh~ cukup jiwang.
no no, this blog bukan asyik dok cite pasal orang sakit, baby, orang sakit, baby lagi. i write other things too you know! macam ni. that is exactly what im doing right now haha ;)
an evil yet irresistible distraction T.T "hehehehehehe" - Bam Sem (not Sem Bam okay)
ps/ Atok is scheduled to return home this Friday. am praying this to be a remarkably awesome present for my birthday this year :) amin ya Rabbal alamin.
No comments:
Post a Comment