Tuesday, May 9, 2017


As I was waiting for my boarding, the word sayangku or my love came into my head.

I dedicate sayangku for my unborn child, whose strength and endurance humble me since day 1 of pregnancy.

Sayangku, I remember how I waited anxiously in the toilet for pregnancy test to show result. I didn't even miss a day yet, and we only had at most 2-days window to have you, so the chances weren't great. You are indeed a miracle.

Sayangku, no one knew you were there yet, except your father. He went dysphasia for almost 2 hours before he could call me and speak properly. But baby, there has never been a time your father was that stroke-like happy.

Sayangku, we had it tough, didn't we. My body was weak. I was kind of fit and healthy before you, but biology took its toll on me. Your father had to come all the way from Malaysia to take care of us because I was losing my grip. I almost lost you. He spent thousands just to come to save us. Such a man he is, isn't he.

Sayangku, when the news broke down, not everyone was happy. She scolded me in my face that I was a burden, and that you were unfortunate to be my child, her voice resonated all around the house but nobody came to our rescue. Lucky enough, your father came only 2 days later.

Sayangku, there were friends who promised that they would take care of us, but they didn't. They turned their backs on us and ignored us, not a sip of water nor a bite of food was offered in that house, but we survived. I remember how I had to crawl to the kitchen to make plain porridge that I knew I would throw up hours later, just so we didn't starve.

..to be continued..