Thursday, April 24, 2014

heartful hurt


Maybe this is only hormonal. It could be that the exam is taking away my rational mind. Or, may be I have gone mad because there is so much to read for Health&Disease paper next Friday. I don't know. As hard as I am trying to untangle this feeling I didn't ask for, I can't hold it back anymore now..

because sometimes just writing them down can be helpful for mental health improvement.

No one seems to listen anyways.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

for the same she


The term tarbiyyah dapur sounds very interesting isn't it. Being an sometimes-even-overly extrovert person, introversion is an alien thing to me. I always ask 'why won't you talk' 'why aren't you doing this' 'how do you live this way' to well, almost everyone. It's not a good thing, I know. Its only that I always don't get it how do introverts live

until last weekend.

I always thought that "I should be the last person to be appointed as AJK Dapur". Kelayakan mencecah kerak bumi. No issues relating to cooking skills, feminism etc, but the short two days being AJK Dapur were actually more enjoyable than I imagined. Almost all AJKs were mostly introverts, I believe, but it was unbelievebly fun having them around for almost the whole day. I can't deny that it hurts me to the most bottom part of my heart (serious k serious) listening to stories of how awesome pengisian in the hall was while I was chopping onions with teary eyes in the kitchen luls. 

But God knows what we need most. 

The tarbiyyah I received in the kitchen was beautiful. I learn that you think more when you speak less. I now see that tarbiyyah is beyond four walls of the hall. She is everywhere. With or without us being aware of her. Truth is, I still can't stop thinking about her when I got home until now. 

I guess I am ever no where near competing with her. For I'm for the same she. I fell in love with her, too. She grows inside of me since heaven knows when. She is perfect, Islam is perfect, and we are so imperfect that we desperately need her for every inch soul we think we own. 

You know what, more than that, we are all for Him. From Him we come, to Him we return, for Him we live. But if she is bound to a group, to me personally, she is disabled. wAllahu'alam.

now back to tarbiyyah medic. Final is next week ksajdkahfjadfjkajsdhadsjhkjs. Pray for me, will ya? :)