I need to buy a sharpener

assalamualaikum!

It's weekend again. And I'm here in my room alone again. Haha, mana ada emo. I like being alone, but I hate loneliness though. Well, you can be alone without feeling lonely, or can't you?

My level of homesickness has declined quite significantly since the past few days. I try to distract myself away from few things and people I used to be too attached to, so that I learn independency, to be on my own. I did a major change in myself too - I talk less. I don't know, maybe sket je kottt. But at some stage, I feel as if I am 'numb'. Certain things are not as interesting as they were before. I barely laugh at jokes. I hardly like new clothes on online website. I differently respond to people. 

And I don't pamper myself with new stationeries too!

Thank you, Faber-Castell, you make my life complete :'D I no longer feel the need to buy highlighters, magic pens, coloured pens, markers, ball pens that make me crazeyhhhh nak beliiiiyhh everytime I go to stationeries shop. But I still need a sharpener tho..

Well, perhaps that's the key. There are many things in life, that we own, are things that we don't need. Yet we don't know how much they are actually unneeded. People say you never know what you have until it's gone. How about this - you never know what you need until you lose everything. Well, not practically everything, because I still have money to buy stationeries if I want to, but I figure out that that I can survive with little more less that what I used to have, in fact, some are better than before. 

I am always in love with my family. I love my friends and people around me. They are full of colours, fun, cool gilos and everything I have ever asked for. But that doesn't mean I have to stay comfortable with things and people I have. I have to move forward too. And to do that, I have to move my own feet. Therefore, just like the colours, I still am colouring, but with my bits and pieces, by my own way. 

I guess, what I am trying to convey is that, I have started to feel that I belong here. Those dreams about home and Bambam and Semsem, I still have them hahaha but it's okay, I'm good. They make me happy, but not sad anymore. I have to focus what I come here for, but not to let go from where I came from, and most importantly, what I bring in my heart everywhere I go ;)

"..boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu, padahal ianya baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."