I wish I was a nerd

Banyak benor la hai nak baca untuk Anatomy. It's like entering a new place with their own foreign language. Endless terms, nearly-impossible-to-understand definitions, weird structures. I sometimes wish I did learn Latin, Arabs and God-knows-what language they use to adopt the terms. But okay la,  they are interesting, though. So interesting that I only started studying 4 hours after sitting on this chair. And continue being interesting after some time I felt partly demotivated and disinterested until I saw this:

"Sesungguhnya Allah SWT itu motivasi terbesar." - Bro HA.
"Keredhaan Allah SWT itu terletak pada keredhaan ibubapa." - Arabic idiom.


Resuming revision with bismillahirahmaanirraheem...

chill people chill

I remember asking Sis Wardina's husband in a talk during a pre-departure programme,

"Is studying abroad overrated by everyone?"

He was studying in UK for architecture for 3 years and came back to Malaysia after. So, I, as a soon-to-be freshie was confused and unsure of my feelings going to overseas. Why is it everyone aiming for overseas university and look high upon overseas graduates. You know, people like "woahhhhhh" "fuyohhhhhh" "walaawwwehhhhh" when they know someone graduated from Yukey la Yu Es la Eiijip la. I used to be, or maybe still in that group of people but it was like a teen who wants a Mekbuk without actually knowing the high-tech features of it and so, end up wasting money on it as a mere overpriced Fesbuk and Twi-er machine.

Eh.

Here I am, in a very cold morning that causes hypoventilationa , picturing my dry skin from face to toe with bloodshed platelet plug at both ends of my lips. Oh, the rain is heavier now. 

Good morning assalamualaikum, everyone! :D

*note: medical terms make stories more dramatic. I should really apply more of them lololololol.

first class in university duniawi gituw

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

"You can start your group discussion now." - Lecturer.

Then the 5 minutes of invisible mode passed like ages. I never actually felt as left out in any discussion I had in life. My opinions were always be heard, maybe not accepted (most of the time tak ponnn) but people listened. Or at least, they can SEE ME. 

But not yesterday; the very first class of medical degree for my group, Group A9, subject, MD139 Medical Professionalism 1.

I suddenly couldn't talk very well in English since day 1. Added with their thick accents, I still can't understand easily neither. But I can think though. Since the discussion or subject itself is a bit TOK-ish, I had few ideas in mind to throw which I was very confident would sound smart since TOK pun subject yang smart kannn. So I spoke out

"By the way, don't you think.."

BLABLABLAMUAHAHA

"I mean, is it that.."

MUAHIHIHIYAYAYAYAYA

"Well, I still think.."

JDSHDDUHCBWUHQJDNMDNVGJHBSDMNADNJF

They didn't listen. Not even look at me. Yalah, maybe because they couldn't see me, so why the ketam they would want to listen to the unseen kan?????!!!!

Tenang, Sya, tenang....

Ehem, so what I mean to say is that, the first days of uni weren't a good story to tell my friends or juniors about. They can be good, if and only if, I decide to look at the bright side. Hey, I come here to study medicine; a tough course, I know that yet should also be reminded at times. Schools, KMB, or even kindergarten weren't not a piece of cake all the time, so why should I expect cheese cake this time for a medical degree in overseas university which had almost one third of students failed in first semester  exam last year? 

:)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Allahuma rabbi yaasir wala tu'aseer. Ameen.

bukan homesick okay.

Bismillahirahmanirrahim, 

It sure is Allah SWT's great power to allow me to have reached here this 16,452 km far from my home. Life has totally changed; I had not woken up in the same bed, eaten the same food, seen the same faces or even breathed the same smell of the nature for seven days now. 

Exciting? 

Not as much as I imagined.

Scary ke?

Erm not really.

So, it's fun then?

*flying away*

I still remember Ibu's face as I was about to enter the KLIA escalator of fame la konon. She was looking at me with so many emotions I can't interpret till now, long and still - as if the world had stopped for a while. It was hours before that we had a lil misunderstanding about hand-carry bag I should bring. Just during the evening before, she bought a half-a-thousand ringgit Camel Active bag for me. Excluded the long John, winter pants and things else she bought only for me by her own money. So, I refused to bring the bag because I want her to have it. 

"Ibu, dah berapa kali dah Ya cakap, tak boleh bawak extra beg. Tak boleh!"

She didn't reply and stood quietly beside me; given up to my stubbornness. 

It is to my utmost surprise (totally is) that I didn't shed a single tear that day. I don't know why, I don't know how I did it. I easily cry at almost everything as simple as Toy Story 3 or Chemistry test result you know. Chemistry test tu over sket but I do have this deep and intense feelings for cartoons. Seriously. Well, not that I watch every single cartoon, but if there are movies to pick, cartoon wins any day without fail. This brought about my selection of movie during my flight:

Has anyone watched this movie?? Has anyone in this entire helpless world, regardless of any circumstances and challenges they have to face in order to use their few hours in life, to watch this???

Sya, jangan over sangat please.

This movie has brought down my ego-made shield. The mother, Queen Ellinor reminds me every bit of Ibu. And that beautiful-haired *ehem* daughter seems to have copycat my style and characters *ehem*. The mother is so much like Ibu that their voice sound the same! Or maybe it's just me I don't know. While the daughter is so rebellious and immature that I pun rasa kesian the mother dapat anak macam tu :P By the way, I will not attempt to write a synopsis here about the movie because you should watch it by yourself. But at my side, I believe Allah SWT has many diligent ways to open the eyes of the hearts to see what should have been seen in better way. I know I had seen so many love around me before in my own house but the appreciation goes beyond the miles between one another. 

So, this post is for you, Ibu, I have always missed you, no matter how far or this close we were once upon a fine day ago :) 

It also goes to you too, Abah. I know you miss me cos Kak Ngah said you were talking about me all the way to Langkawi a day after I flew off hihi. 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :)