of road, happiness and future!

Assalamualaykumwarahmatullah, 

It's more less a week away before pursuing medical degree. I am turning 20 years and 20 years of life have I went through. There are a lot of times I look at the mirror wondering 'who is she gonna be when she becomes an adult' I sometimes scare myself the steps I'm taking because I know life is a result of the congregation of steps one's taken in his or her life. And here is another step I had turned away half-way from about 2 years ago.

I was a proud IIUM student for 3 months. And am a proud ex-IIUM student for life chewahh. I remember filling the UPU forms with all ten choices of IPTA as IIUM. Heartbreakingly, I didn't manage to get myself into medicine at first, I was a pharmacy student. But still proud because pharmacy students are so cool yow (with reference to Aqilah Zakaria and Asmalinda ;) Only after a changing-course appealing process that I got into medical programme. I did attend few classes; Biology, Chemistry, Knowledge of Islam (tak ingat the exact name of the subject) and they were more than fun! Islamic values are instilled ingeniously in lectures and even orientation - the priceless element in a muslim's journey of seeking knowledge that you barely get elsewhere, especially in overseas ehem. I still remember some of the lectures, new friends, food in cafeteria, and announcement board. Basically, I'm just trying to say that I did fall in love with the atmosphere!

And then the fine, handsome, dreamy world ended when I chose to take a turn to another side of the road.

So, I survived the two-years IB programme instead of a year foundation in CFS IIUM, PJ. 

A mere turn in life might be both good and bad. I'm looking at the old me through the old pictures dated more than a year ago. She was such a happy person. My eyes literally smiled when I was happy. I was happy. As far as I can remember, life wasn't held easier than it is now, but it was sure not as tiresome as it has been for this year around. It tires me day by day and almost, almost, makes me completely forget the happiness I celebrated in me for longer time before. 

No, I am not saying that this road I'm taking is wrong. In fact, I can never be sure of that.

I am just saying that, perhaps it's time to be happy again, if happiness means strength, gratefulness and positivity. Even if there always be the other road I would look back and no matter how many times I wonder 'what if I did the opposite? where would I be by now? would I pass into IIUM medical school?' I am still on this same road I have chosen and might be on it for the rest of my life. It's not too much to say (at least to me) that I am still traumatized with incidents in life I had faced with people I loved not so long ago on this journey, which I have never faced any such kind before. A major shake of life, I tell youuu. But hey, 

"Dan janganlah kamu merasa lemah dan bersedih hati sebab kamu paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu orang beriman." 3:139

You get my point or nottttt?

Ibu      :  Ya sebenarnya jadi ape besar nanti? Nak buat bisnes ke ape ke?

Sya    : Ya sebenarnya boleh imagine diri Ya jadi doktor and lecturer je. Yang lain takde pun. Kalo boleh, sekarang jugak Ya nak jadi doktor.