writing as a hobby

bismillahirrahmaanirraheem,

"Ibu, rasa futur tak pegi tamrin, tak bawak usrah sume. Sedihnya rasaaaa."

"So ada banyak masa lebih la ni. You should write again! :D"

andddd here I am.

It came to my realisation today that my tweets had made a number of people cried, became angry and furious which I never understand why. It could be that my words of thoughts are dangerous to tell. And so for some time, I stopped writing because I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

But then I realised that the very fact that I never wanted to hurt anyone is exactly why I should start writing again. I should improve on my writing ie improve on what I think in my head. I always believe that if people could get into my mind, none would have survived.

Mind is so close to feeling. What you feel will give you thoughts. As complicated as my mind is, feeling is even beyond what I could tell. I always ask myself every time conflicts happens, "how do I feel this now."

"Stop thinking just about yourself, Sya."

"Don't write things in social network to let the world knows about it."

"Janganlah emotional sangat."

I think Im done.

I'm done listening to (most) answers people gave me. I don't want to be told what to feel anymore. Its not fair for people to do something to me and expect me to even feel the way they want me to. My feelings may be absurd but they are real. I'm not sorry for being real.

However, I have a right to feel but its my responsibility to control. I'm a big girl now. I have to learn to do things right. But that does not include pleasing you.

Disclaimer: no I am not emotional. these are my words of thoughts, not of feelings. Stop judging me pffft.