i'm sorry.

"Sya, aku kecewa dengan kau Sya. nape kau jadi macam ni. mana Syakirah Azami yang dulu. aku tak suka Syakirah Azami yang baru ni. teruk betul. gelak banyak tau, buat soalan Chemy tatau. apa nak jadi dengan kau ni. happy sangat nape. kau ingat kau dah pandai? takyah perasan la weh."

Sem 2 harsh dilemma

i planned on updating my blog like weeks ago. rasa tercabar bila Luqman Safwan made a new post(s) which i find kinda sweet. (okay fine, super sweettt!) here it is. well the thing is, i am gratefully glad that last week has over. and i am griefully (?!) dead today is Monday. tapi takpelah. tulat nak balik.

okay. Sya, jangan mengarut banyak.

Sem 2 has started and it didn't start off very well. very bad, actually. something happened and i kinda lost my way. the path of light, if i may call (bahahahahahahaha) tapi serious la. for the past one month, i was like 'hapebende la aku belajar ni'. pastu petang petang membuta bajet sekolah sesi pagi waktu sekolah rendah dulu. kalau ade Quiz ke Test ke memang sedap kantoi ni. isk. sorry teacher :((

the next thing i know was i hardly control myself from bubuh orang (ayat Fatimah az-Zahra) and everyone macam

'evil do Syakirah.'

huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. napaaa caaakaapp akuuu evilllll. pastu ada yang panggil Syaitan yang paling tak tahan. 'Afif AKKARINRORUORNI, aku tau kau tengah gelak. tapi serious la. simpati jugak sikit-sikit tengok orang yang kena bahan ni. tapi nikmatnya ya Allah, takleh nak berhenti. hehe. tapi lepas muhasabah diri. dapat la satu sinaran tulus putih gitu yang menunjuk ke siratul mustaqim.

Sem 2 punya azam, taknak bahan orang banyak sangat (banyak takpe, banyak sangat takleh) and nak jadi pendiam. yang second tu macam tipu sikit tapi serious ni, i'll try my very best. serious. dah. jangan gelak. i know Sem 2 result is undeniably important for university placement. and the fact that i wasted a month already learning nothing, i should change by now, shouldn't i. so i have to do this my friend. jangan ditangisi semua ini.

ape ni Sya?!

di kesempatan ni jugak saya nak mintak maaf kat semua yang saya pernah bahan dan prank selama ni especially classmates M10E (malasnya nak upload gamba, hehe) walaupun sekejap je tempoh bahan korang, i enjoyed every picosecond of it :DDD but still, my sincerest apology for any heart feelings and rasa dendam di dada. special apology to mangsa utama, Yusra Syazana.

awak hot sangat nak wat caneeewww.

ni pun mangsa jugak. sorry Belon Nabilah Rosaidi :((

so, I, hereby, Syakirah binti Azami, take an oath to change to a better me for a better future. *clap clap* (takdelah poyo sangat kan.)

2:216 InsyaAllah. amiiin.

ps/ dont follow my english. i go astray most of the time.

La Tahzan, jom makan

hari ni asal rasa emo sangat nihh. nak tacing sorang sorang nanti rasa lame. nak tacing kat kelas lak banyak kali tak jadi. sedih kot. penat menahan sebak di dada. actually macam ni, orang cakap laughters are the best antibiotics kan, tapi actually, Amirah Haya cakap, sometimes they are just the best disguise. ha kau. Amirah Haya yang cakap tu.

tapi betul jugak kadang kadang. semua orang boleh bergelak ketawa nguahahahahahaha kan. tapi tak semua orang boleh tunjuk perasaan sedih. sebab ada orang malu nak tacing tacing depan orang macam kitew hew hew. jadi kalau pikir balik, apa salahnya kalau kita jaga hati kawan kita? jap, masuk topik ke tak eh ni.

ha nampak takkk. nampak tak muka emo kiteeww, Ain Syafiqah??

macam ni. mesti semua ada kawan yang mulut besau yang gelak gaya Whip My Hair macam Khairun Sofea kan. hehe. but one thing you have to know,

lagi kuat orang tu gelak, lagi sensitive dia sebenarnya.

betul ni. bila nampak kawan kawan gelak kuat kuat tanpa aib jangan ingat dia happy. bukan senang untuk orang orang sensitip ni nak happy. maybe orang tu gelak sebab dia suka ceriakan orang. walaupun dia sendiri bersedih. uuu. syahdu.. jangan selalu dok seronok gelak sama sama. tah tah belakang toilet dia tengah tahan sendu. ha sapa tau. lagi satu, kadang kadang nak detect orang hyper active gelak ni tengah bersedih ada dua;

1) Gelak yang terlebih kuat

tiba tiba kalau dalam satu hari tu kawan kita gelak kuat kuat tak pasal pasal macam setiap saat kan, mesti ada something wrong. percayalah. mesti dia tengah cuba happykan diri tu. takpun dia dah gila. cubalah tanya dia.

2) Gelak takde bunyi

kalau kawan kita tiba tiba buat lawak muka selamba badak, kita mesti gelak embahahahahohohohhihihi (gaya Khairun Sofea) kan. sebab rasa kelakar sangat. tapi sapa tau sebenarnya dalam hati dia cakap 'kan bagus kalau aku boleh jadi happy macam diorang.' Hanis Faiqah tuh lain. dia memang gelak takde bunyik. so takleh nak paksa.

jadi, conclusionnya, hargai kawan masing masing. jaga hati dan adab makan sebaiknya. sometimes the question 'are you okay' can make someone's day. jangan lah jadi kawan yang gelak sama sama je macam ni

Sya : bla bla bla (tone tazkirah yang serius) ala, Allah nak tunjuk ke arah jalan yang benar la tuh.

orang ramai : BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

terasa bagai diri ini dipermainkan.






okay, bye. dah puas procrastinate Chemy Lab Report.

memories don't kill

petang tadi ada Usrah Umum. best macam biasa. Usrah Umum ni macam. er macam Usrah. duduk kat Lecture Theatre (nama glemer okay) pastu Naqibah Naqibah terpilih macam ni

seronoknya dapat naqibah hot. aww.

bagi tazkirah kat depan. overall like okay la. seronok seronok. sampai la tiba tiba ada Naqibah cakap

"Jom baca selawat Syifa'"

selawat ni lah yang saya bacakan kat Allahyarham Aufa sepanjang dia terbaring kat katil hospital. ni kan selawat penawar. bagus betul selawat ni. banyak kali Aufa ada bukak bukak mata setiap kali dengar selawat ni. bagus tak? :D

diorang pun cakap betol xD

"Di sekitar Arsy ada menara menara dari cahaya. Di dalamnya ada orang orang yang pakaiannya dari cahaya dan wajah mereka bercahaya. Mereka bukan para Nabi dan syuhada, sehingga para Nabi dan syuhada kagum kepada mereka." Ketika ditanya oleh para sahabat, Rasulullah SAW menjawab, "Mereka adalah orang orang yang saling mencintai kerana Allah, saling bersahabat kerana Allah, saling berkunjung kerana Allah dan saling memaafkan kerana Allah."

higher than the highest, better than the best.

we just got our Sem 1 exam result. posted on the board this afternoon. macam kerbau semua serbu. bajet suprise la tuh. walhal dah siap kira guna GDC. tapi overall, okay la. alhamdulillah.

wait, actually, alhamdulillah sangat sangat. ni bukan mimpi jadi realiti, sebab takde dalam mimpi pun :/

lets go back to the topic. this is what i learnt from Sem 1. you see, saya dah lama been in trauma since the very first day in KMB. semua budak budak pandai. sel neuron diorang cam pelik. mutated kot. hehe.

Situation 1

so for every weekly test, the highest would be no other than 100. tak payah berangan la nak dapat title highest kalo soalan setengah markah salah. tu baru test, kalau quizzes lagi la. kalo ada 100 plus plus, ha infinity plus la diorang dapat. memang pandai. haish. but lets take a moment to think. how do you actually define highest score? untuk dak dak IB, no, this is not TOK.

i have to say, it is not at all about numbers. not even close.

macam ni. kita belajar satu subjek bape ratus subtopics kan. okay over. tapi banyak la kan. and we study hard for the exam, focusing on every subtopic as deep as possible. the fact is, we don't know what question will come out. so during exam, we answer hard too. but in the end of the day, we get low marks. so korang rasa pandai ke kurang pandai? mesti lah kurang pandai kan. but the thing is, you can't count hardwork. neither can the marks.

copy jawapan Lydia Amira pun dikira hard work ye

pahaaammm ke takkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. maksud saya, achieving highest score doesnt necessarily means you are good enough. mungkin nasib, mungkin ketentuan. tapi sebenarnya tak payah la nak bangga kalo dapat markah paling tinggi di dunia because you know you will never be good ENOUGH. apa yang penting? bukan kerjasama, tapi usaha. percayalah. usaha tu melebihi markah yang ada. tak kesah la orang tu dapat 100 ke apa, tah tah dia guna bomoh. over lagi. buat apa nak frust menonggeng dapat markah rendah kalau dah usaha tu. tak rasa bangga ke? bukan semua orang tau boleh usaha macam tu. what i am trying to say is that, get the best of you to study, you'll be the highest scorer. kalau tak study, boleh rasa malu kat diri sendiri.

Situation 2

setiap sekolah ada best student. best student dapat straight A. mintak MARA. dapat KMB. memang selalu case macam ni. tu baru sekolah, belum peringkat negeri atau kebangsaan. macam saya cakap dulu, kalau semua best students, sapa yang tak best ni?

simpy (Siti) no one.

lagi sekali, how do you define best student? dapat markah tinggi? dapat jumpa menteri? no no no. think again. best students are far more than that.

best students are those who think they are. ni bukan kes riak. tapi keyakinan tu. kenapa nak toleh kanan kiri sambil ternganga tengok markah orang? eh tak salah. sebab saya buat jugak. hehe. tapi kan, kenapa kita tak jadi macam tu? sebab kita takut kan? sebenarnya kan, sebab ketakutan tu lah yang stop us from being one like them. best students ni yakin, diorang boleh berjaya. tak cuak pun tengok markah ratus ratus orang lain. tapi kita? hadeih.

maka janganlah malu nak berangan jadi best student. diorang memang best student, but you can be a better one. by having a mere dream with a bigger heart :)

well actually, these are things that keep wandering in mind in this review week. paper by paper, number by number, they all have meanings. and so here, i would like to leave a few messages and advices yang poyo for my sister who just entered KYUEM for A Level.

hahahaha lawak lah gambar yaya kecik. sorry. takde gambar lain. (yes padan muka)

yaya, i am writing this to you while you are being tortured by my friends there (i really hope so). i am terribly sorry if you think i look down on you before this by saying things you dont wanna hear. but i was trying, like really hard, to give you a view to what you will be facing there. A level or IB, neither is easy. semua membunuh jiwa raga. but like i said, its you determination and hard works that count. idk what you are thinking, but i really hope you'll pass A level with colourful flying rainbow colours (what the?) make everyone proud of you. and you too, to be riak sikit with your grandchildren that you survive A level. okeng? my best prayers with you.