The cold got into my bone!

BismIllahirrahmaanirraheem.

It was raining heavily this morning.

Haish semalam hailing all day, hari ni macam raining all day. Sejuk betul malam tadi sebab heater rosak. Agak tipu jugak la kalau oil habis sebab baru je refill. Kalau murah takpe, ni sampai 400euro ohoiii.

Oh God. The wind!

Aaaa menyesal pulak pakai coat tak waterproof. Grrrrr macam dah nak terbang tinggi. Adoi susah pulak nak bernafas huuhhhhh. Oh please Allah please Rabbi, ease this for me! I want to go to lecture!

Eh. Kenapa traffic light kereta merah, pedestarian hijau? Sape yang tekan butang?

(Checking right and left for other pedestrian)

None.

Innama'al 'usri yusra. Fainnama'al 'usri yusra. Allahumusta'an. 

oh dear Allah, You truly are the most merciful.

Based on true story of a normal rainy day in Galway during winter.

"supaya dia tunduk"

bismillahirrahmaanirraheem

"diberikan dia ujian hati yang berat
ditarik daripadanya seorang sahabat 
yang siapa di hatinya terlalu dekat

dijadikan pula hati si dia beralih
terlalu pantas pusingannya hatinya tertoreh

diizinkan pula cerita lama dibuka semula
tanpa kerelaannya, bukan kemahuannya

lemah terasa, 
bukan yang pertama,

tapi yang pasti, 

semuanya

supaya dia tunduk."


I managed to get myself to one stage of life for the first time ever to feel this. I found no words to describe it but 'tunduk'.

Tunduk to the Maker and His plans. Tunduk my own ego to the Owner of me.  Tunduk to focus on medic books, usrah books, assignments, agar plate - my main business for now.  Of course its hurtful, always is. The pain is too real, enough for me to keep it by my self. It also gets literally hurtful that I'm not well now *cough





tunduk, Sya, tunduk. radheetubillahirabba. 

Short note

"She is wounded,
But she will greatly be healed by The Healer."

It must be safe now to say that I accepted everything. The good and the bad, the ugly and the pretty. No other reasons I can find to be strong but Him, and only Him.

And to you, you can continue the hurtings, but I believe the healing will too, continue, repeatedly, without fail.

BiidznIllah. RadheetubIllah.